Pssst

Invisible

Vows

My pal Chico was the only one left.

The only one who remembered…

The only one who could confirm

That she was my soul mate.

Oh, God.

Inside, the inevitable is happening.

I’m an outsider.

I missed my chance.

The pastor is saying his lines:

If anyone has any objection

To these two being wed

Please speak now

Or forever hold your peace

Chico is laughing

“Holding your piece”

Ha, ha, ha

I want to throw a brick

Through the stained glass window

Hey preacherman!

Hey all you stupid motherfuckers!!

Stop the wedding!!!

We weren’t invited

Still, we dressed in tuxedos

And now we’re smoking pot in the bushes

Outside of the church

My lady looks so beautiful

When she leaves the chapel

With that thief

She calls her man

Chico yells “I love you”

As the rice and flowers get thrown

As the car leaves with the cans hanging off the bumper

She’s gone.

At least I still got Chico.

I put my arm around his shoulder as he pukes.

My bud.

The Stranger in Plainview

1.

“Just remember to be anonymous”

is the advice given to me by my boss.

I listen, like a good employee.

I’ve been listening for years.

But inside a storm is brewing.

I want to be recognized.

To have an ID of my own.

As a quality control inspector

for a national oil/lube chain

I help to guarantee customer satisfaction

even though on my clipboard

there is no checkbox

for my growing discontent

I drive from Plainview to Smithport

and all the towns in-between look the same

the gas stations and the shopping malls

if I couldn’t read the white letters

on the green highway signs

I’d be even more lost than I already am

Cars are fast and efficient

But have you ever noticed

that the little things…

the beautiful things

can only be found while taking a walk

when riding a bike?

on the side streets

At the service station I let them do their thing

They don’t know I’m with the company

Just another paying customer

Secretly, I’m listening to their calls:

Brake Fluid Level, check

Chassis lubrication, check

Power Steering Fluid, check

Windshield wiper fluid, check

Everything so far is A+

Like a well-oiled machine.

What a bore…

In the meantime,

I’m trying to decide

if I hate my job

Or if I just despise work altogether

2.

There is a castle across the street

Not an architectural marvel, mind you

Just a cheap imitation

but it’s old and that is a draw enough for me:

GO-KARTS and GAMES

reads the Neon signage

and suddenly I’m filled with romantic notions

about the Smithport pier

and unfulfilled desires from my youth

I am 28 years old

a lonely single man

sometimes I feel as if the world hates me

because I kind of want to hide in this place

and play Pac-Man for hours

without worrying that I’m creepy

I’m not a kid anymore

Still, can you give me a break?

I’m not exactly old

I can still chase around the young

attractive girls

with high waisted jeans

She has long hair

and I’d like to put a flower behind her ear

perhaps she is in college

but i don’t need a degree to realize

already I am making excuses as to why

She is too good for me

talking to her is an impossibility

Then again, I have nothing to lose

I make up my mind to approach her

As she stands nonchalantly eating cotton candy

in the glow of the ICEE machine

Suddenly my cell phone rings

I answer it.

It’s my mom.

“What are you doing,” she asks…

Stalking college girls at a run down amusement place

attempting to talk to strangers

Acting like a scary psychopath.

“You should get a dog, it will make you feel less lonesome…

…a pet certainly helped me through my divorce.”

THANKS, Mom.

The girl is gone.

She is leaving with an older guy.

This confuses me.

Was that her boyfriend?

Or her dad?

I look down and there is toilet paper

Stuck to the bottom of my sneaker.

It’s probably for the best.

I would’ve made a bad impression.

3.

The night is young

and not content to return to Plainview

I follow a group of well-dressed young people

to a beach front hotel party

When security questions me

I just throw back my shoulders

and say, “I’m with them”

The velvet rope is released

And I’m in!

A drunk girl approaches me and insists

that I make out with her sister

Who happens to be sitting right next to me.

I am surprised but also embarrassed.

Still, I try to make light conversation.

“Don’t worry, I’m a nice guy”

She shrugs me off…

“I’m NOT a nice girl”

a moment later

a tall black stranger approaches her

immediately puts his hand on her shoulder

and starts flirting

He asks her what she does for a living

She says that she is in marketing for the beverage industry…

two minutes later they are talking about sex.

I am NOT kidding.

I wonder what it would be like

To be an attractive woman?

To get hit on all the time.

Would l get dressed up

If I had someplace to go?

I just want to be recognized

After I’ve sobered up

I’m driving back home from Smithport to Plainview

It’s late

on a mobile floating coach in nowheresville

I’d rather be parked on some side road

necking in the backseat with the girl of my dreams.

is it TOO LATE?

April in August

The evening I saw April in August
That was the best night of my life

She was the girl
The one I had a crush on in High School
Who didn't know I existed

Twenty years later
we meet
She is seeing me
for the first time

We held hands
We rolled down a grassy hill
We got to know each other

Not kids anymore
A man and a woman
In the world
Under the stars

For a moment I felt peace.

Then - She went home to her husband.

Then - I had to say goodbye.

Daytona Fun

For once I felt alright
with sand in my jeans
and echoes of a rollercoaster nearby

There is confidence in taking off
And I am never more brave
Then when I am leaving a place

Late night talking to a stranger
A foreigner with class
Can I lure her back to my rented trailer
Indeed, I can!

She spoke to me passionately in French
I couldn't understand a word she was saying
But it sounded gentle and sexy

We just cuddled
I didn't mind
I still got to touch her body
and I liked the way she kissed me

I wanted to do it.
But she was married.
And already having an affair with another man.
It was just a temporary distraction.
Please allow me to distract.

In the morning, I watched her dress.
She held my hand and gave me a rock from outside
to remember her by.
Any object can have sentimental value.
But a rock?
I didn't keep it.

Instead I drew a cartoon of her
which I keep pinned up in my office

I don't even remember her name.

Last Chance for Love

Pedal to the metal
It's stuck
Can't stop
Cars speeding by
too fast to see me
but I'm looking in their windows
before I drive off a cliff

She's in one of these vehicles
going the other way
When I see her
I'm not going to let her disappear

Gonna swerve my car
Gonna bust over the barricade
Gonna spin the wheels around
Gonna follow her home

Smash it through her living room wall
Only then will the motor stop running!

Smash it through her bedroom wall
Only then will I slow down!

This is how I got derailed
this is how I totaled everything

This is why...
I now ride a bike

Logan's Run

Every time I open my mouth
I make myself sound older
than I actually am.
Call me Mr. Awkward

One of my 1970s obsessions
Is a science fiction movie
that took place in a shopping mall

The characters only lived for pleasure
With the only downside being
that they all died young.

Whenever I go to the mall
I think of this film
Was it real?
I feel like a ghost from future's past
NO PLEASURE

Young People:
Their clothes
Their behavior
It just became strange to me.

They are shopping for things
I no longer care about

Why don't they take off their clothes?
So I can examine them further.

_____________________________

Even though no one is trying to kill me...
I'm running from something/

Logan's run.